Evan Stark, interview from NDVFRI on Vimeo.
If you would like to know what domestic violence, or intimate partner abuse (newer terminology) is all about, don't look to the Control Wheel or the Cycle of Violence. These descriptions represent the earliest attempts to understand what goes on behind the closed doors of partner or dating relationships.
They have been supplanted by a much more accurate model called Coercive Control. Evan Stark, who appears in this video, has been instrumental in researching and formulating this new model.
Please take the time to watch and listen. He is an excellent speaker as well as knowing the field of supporting victims of toxic relationships inside and out.